


To a Another Year

by Pandora_Homeros



Series: Drabbles/Oneshots [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Alone on New Years, Angst, Cigarettes, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Deceit | Janus Sanders-centric, Depression, Fireworks, Hurt No Comfort, Loneliness, New Years, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:01:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora_Homeros/pseuds/Pandora_Homeros
Summary: Janus spends New Years' alone.Here's some angst for the New Year, hope you enjoy it.
Series: Drabbles/Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081358
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	To a Another Year

The night sky lit up with colorful fireworks that danced across the horizon like a laser show, allowing Janus to see the city clearly for a brief moment until the lights faded from view and another needed to be set off. 2021. It was a bit surreal, after all that shit and turmoil. Not only with the world itself, but his personal life-well, let’s just say things could only get better from then on.

He leaned against his apartment balcony with a cigarette in one hand as he took in the bright colors that celebrated another year of hell passing.

Alone, Janus breathed out, as always. No roommates, no friends to celebrate with, and family...he didn’t want anything to do with them.

A holiday is just another day. One of 2020’s many lessons. So it shouldn’t have mattered, right?

Janus took a drag from his cigarette, the end illuminating the scars on his face as a breeze blew past and rustled whatever hair was sticking out from his beanie.

“Happy new year, Jan…” He blew smoke and raised his head to gaze at the starless sky for another moment before switching the song on his phone to Lullaby by Snail’s House. “It’s just going to be 2020 all over again, but we’ll survive. Always do. It’s funny, really. we’re finally away from them, yet…” Janus chuckled to himself, but it held no real joy behind, a bittersweet laugh at the irony of his situation. 

Away from the people that ruined him, but as a consequence, he was away from the people who actually cared and stuck by him. 

Janus tapped his cigarette on the ashtray beside him, “Things’ll get better, just have to keep telling myself that, maybe then I’ll believe it.” 

He spent a little while longer outside, encouraged by the cool air brushing past him every so often and the soft music from his phone beckoning him to never leave. 

His mind wandered to how his friends might have been celebrating. No doubt Virgil and Roman were already stoned. Maybe they counted down; Virgil popping a bottle of champagne when they hit zero then Roman pulling his boyfriend close and holding his face as he gently kissed him. 

Janus rubbed his arms, and sighed, lowering his head to look at his phone. Almost 2 am now. Patton and Logan definitely had to be asleep at this point. 

“God, you’re a sad sack of shit,” He muttered to himself as he put out his cigarette. “Get some sleep, man.” Then pushed himself away from the ledge, pocketing his phone that was still playing some soft electronic music. 

The glass door sliding open revealed his darkened apartment, lit only by one of his terrarium’s purple lights. It was enough to see by. To see the half-empty bottle of champagne on the kitchen counter, the sink filled to the brim with dirty dishes, and the McDonald's trash littering the coffee table. 

He walked past that though, straight to his room where he kicked off his boots, hung his jacket, and tugged off his beanie which he tossed onto his dresser. After stripping down to his boxers, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. 2:41 AM. 

Janus sighed and plugged his phone in by his bed, and nuzzled himself up under his sheets, reaching one hand out from his comfort to pause his music for the night.

The fucking silence deafened him almost immediately. All he could hear was his quiet breathing and heartbeat, but it rang through the room and allowed for his thoughts to tear down what remained of his defenses. It didn’t take long before he started crying. 

He held a pillow tightly to his chest and cried into it-broken and choked off sobs-until sleep overtook him. 

A Happy New Year, indeed.


End file.
